In-Sight: Creating the False Self (4)

June 25, 2014

hoperecovering:

just found this quite by accident …and it’s significance struck me..

Originally posted on Oboedire:

Richard Rohr has posted the fourth “ego split” which results in the creation of the false self…

The Fourth Split: Acceptable Self from Unacceptable Self

The final split is the split of the acceptable self (persona) from the unacceptable self (shadow). What this split tries to accomplish is allowing us to identify with an idealized, more acceptable image of ourselves.  We identify with what our group or tribe says is admirable.

For the Franciscan mystics, there is no idealization of the self. Francis wore a habit with many patches and said, “I’ve got to wear patches on the outside to let everybody know what I’m like on the inside.”  Now that’s a facing of the shadow. He’s saying, “There’s no disguising that I’m a weak person, and I don’t want you to think I’m better than I really am.” That translated into an identification with the poor, the marginalized, and…

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Christmas Competition Results

December 27, 2013

Are amusing.

*Santa* having a good laugh at the results

*Santa* having a good laugh at the results

So: NO-ONE entered the competition, is the result of it, lmao.

Disappointment, necessarily, was the first reaction of *Santa*, for he loves to surprise and delight and so he felt a little put out of a job.  But a little reflection soon reassured him that children write to him through the chimneys (a bad idea for him, though a great one for parents etc) and adults parade their wishes to partners, friends, relatives, (some even shovel them into their own childrens’ minds) – and that’s fine for the non-magical christmas that most people enjoy (or despise).

Disappointed *Santa*

Disappointed *Santa*

*Santa*, however, is a specific variant of the ‘Father Christmas‘ symbolism. He is magical. He has certain very vital corporeal needs in order to operate his work, and certain quite unusual powers enabling him to ‘make dreams come true’ in a way that most people simply don’t expect to occur at all.

Thus it was a slight shame that no-one entered the competition despite one of them being explicitly invited to do so, because now, Zoe, your long yearned for dream holiday lies in your own hands and can only come true if you create its manifestation for yourself. It shouldn’t prove much of a problem in truth; obviously, had you entered the competition it would have been a dream holiday laid on without a hitch or worry but = hey, Rome will still be there next year… ;-)

Meanwhile we will now announce *Santa*s gifting for this uncompeted competition:-

Julia will take a trip to Paris in the summer of 2014. She exemplifies the virtues of determination, courage and fellowship.

Paris Chilling

Paris Chilling

Mr Glenn Miranda will drive a mini-bus to a conference venue on a voluntary basis during the summer of 2014. He exemplifies the virtues of determination, perseverance and humility.

Decorated, but not this particular one ;-)

Decorated, but not this particular one ;-)

and

Isabella Jakeman will enjoy a very, very, special 10th Birthday. She exemplifies the virtues of faith – and faith is all any of us need.

Cinderella goes to the Ball: (we don't do pumkin magic, bella ;-) )

Cinderella goes to the Ball: (we don’t do pumkin magic, bella ;-) )

Finally, we shall be delivering a christmas wish to Jamie, who lives somewhere in Redditch. He risked his life to save his 6 year old sister on 24th July, 2013 and this is merely one of many symptoms of the fine and noble character of  this 12 year old boy.  He will probably need to see this post and contact Janie to ensure that his wish is relevant, pleasing and in fact, life changing.

It’s an unexpected, yet particularly fulfilling turn out for both *Santa* and Baboushka (who has been very busy with her home this christmas): a unified response to wishes has been created from a delightful absence of demand, and thus they have been able to listen to that small still voice within that speaks from and for faithfulness of being and honor of action.

Messy New Beer everyone, it’s time for Benjii’s tea.

[contact-field label='Name' type='name' required='1'/]

Welcome to Christmas and our *Santa* mission-competition :-D

December 13, 2013

If you click on the link that follows this sentence you will get a christmas song on you tube to have in the  background while you read this entry: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoxQ4Ul_DME

So – we’re well into advent and children world wide are posting their letters to *Santa* once again.

All singing All smoking

Festive Spirits – *Santa* in disguise

We at MissionMiraculus are unofficial agents for *Santa* .  We act on *Santa*s behalf without even *Santa* being aware of it, though we do intend to correct this anomaly at the earliest opportunity.

This year we have a particular focus. We are delivering a wish come true to one or two of  you.

So first of all we need to hear from you about your dearest wish.

We operate by strict adherence to the promises of *Santa* , by reading every letter or email, by listening carefully to what we hear, by planning a response that optimises satisfaction, and then by planning out methods of procuring the ‘wish come true’ factor, before delivering the ‘gift’.

Our methods are not strictly conventional. Our deliveries are putatively satisfactory at least for all of our target individuals.

We would urge you to take advantage of this service.

Every ‘validated wish’ will receive a response. Every ‘unvalidated wish’ will not.

gifts of *santa*

We vary from *Santa* in one key respect. We do not offer to respond to every wish received. We offer to select 3 particularly deserving wishes and to respond to those within 6 months of receipt. The remainder of wishes will be given serious attention, however, and, in direct negotiation with *Santa* proper, we shall co-ordinate and contribute to eventual delivery of all other validated wishes expressed to us.

Don’t worry unduly if you miss the deadline: next year is a new year and you can write to Santa then. – Though we’re the Baboushka end of Santa’s work so our style is Moscow-Mayhem, lol – but we nonetheless clean our act up in time to be efficient in delivering joy to all we find ourselves among – so worry not. We think *Santa* will be proud of us and begin to pick up on the equality of women and men. MissionMiraculus has been the energy of a woman and of feminine energy sourcing.

gifts grow on trees

gifts grow on trees

Here are the methods of responding to this Christmas Wishes Competition:-

1. Write to The Editor,  MissionMiraculus.Com , 199 Easemore Road, Riverside, B98  8HF

2. Write to mmeditor.jg@gmail.com

3. Post a message to the editor on this site

4. Express your wish via the commenting option on this site.

5. Write to MissionMiraculus on Facebook – on our wall

Santa's reading job - b4 planning n producing 4 delivery

Santa’s reading job – b4 planning n producing 4 delivery

Get writing!! You’ve got until the 24 th December – be sure to let us have the details of your wish, your name,  contact details and your delivery address   ;-) We also need to know your age range – for example, we need to know where you are in your childhood- 0-10; 11-16; 17-30; 31-70; 71-100 etc. All over 100 are registered as ‘adults’.

Janie claims to be 126, and is thus the only adult in close range.

 

Windows, Mac and Linux Battle – as rap (Jobs vs Gates) for the weekend ;-)

December 12, 2013

At the weekend we will be producing a christmas edition of this site’s home page.

There will be an announcement regarding the sliding in of our commercial site around the til-now personal blog, which will be renamed once this transit takes place.

Charles Harrison

Charles Harrison: he inspired Janie

The new home page will be more like a magazine front page + contents page in format, with basic information there to inform visitors about different choices and options of content across the site. Parts of it will be based on private subscription and there will be a ‘shop’ option. However there will be publically available content too.

All singing All smoking

As did her dad

The date of transition is planned as 6th January 2014.  It may be moved to 11th of January to coincide with the official launch of MissionMiraculus Ltd.  This event will take place at the Malt House in Birmingham. and will be strictly invitation only.  A public launch will follow date & venue tba.

Leamington Road2Recovery Show, June, 2010

Leamington Road2Recovery Show, June, 2010

Janie has been in London this week and mid-month she’s heading for Leeds & Keighley, to attend an awards ceremony and visit friends,  before returning  to North London to spend Christmas with her family.

family love

family love

She’ll be nipping back home to oversee the work being done to the front of her house on the way though, and hopes to catch up with a few friends then, and maybe even have an extremely small party, with food and music, to which she invites no-one at all but herself!! ;-)

See you over the weekend probably ;-)

In mind of my father, I would like to say: [Poem follows]

December 8, 2013

This is a piece of work I  have written in memory of my father, who died just over a year ago.  I have been grieving over the loss of him since his death, but for the first few months I was so busy organising the funeral and dealing with family conflicts viz his will, and liaising with my sister over the house & contents sale that followed his death that I didn’t begin the popularly understood phases of it until the spring this year.

When the fire burns will you cool me down; Will you love me enough to be there, still love me when I'm cool when I'm cool too?

When the fire burns will you cool me down; Will you love me enough to be there, still love me when I’m cool (!) too?

Then later on, nearer to the first anniversary of his death and burial, but before the estate had been divided, ‘case closed’, I entered a different ‘hypo-manic’ phase of grief.  I recognised the signs and resolved to remain mindful for fear of a full ‘relapse’  due to (unresolved) trauma and grief, and I relied on friends to help me to learn to take control of this little beast, – the adrenalin driven ‘depression with severe anxiety’ which appears to psychiatrists as colourful symptoms of ‘early stage onset’  of ‘hypo-mania’ which might be treated by daily visits and drug popping but no case for involuntary hospitalisation if at all unless hyper-mania is suspected to be imminent.

Janie beng very zany - and not in a good way : it just gets toooo much!

Janie beng very zany – and not in a good way : it just gets toooo much!

Family names are different. To some family members it is ‘here are early warning signs – what can I do to help’ . To others it is ‘she’s effing mad as apeshit, and as crazy as a box of frogs’ and then exasperation and impatience, even intolerance ensue. Other friend’s are patient and accepting and nurturing – that’s the best medicine of all.

That my dad and I were and are ‘classic and colourful cases of bipolar disorder (class 1)’ we both know. He’s gone now, but I hear him (no not literally, calm down) laughing. I’m still here.  I miss him dreadfully but I’m far from done with my little spot in ‘heaven on earth’. I’m creating a chilling space out of what is yet a house I’m hiding in; it’s going to be the palace of my life and loves.

Even alone sitting in my own house, houses either side of me, one of them audible and connected: I can get to feel claustrophobic. Especially when one of them’s connected all down one side. So -I’m gonna keep some of my wild patch amongst the apple and plum trees just as it is. Then beside it I’ll have a ‘the shed’:  a place for chilling while I work, rest and play,  ‘away from the madding crowds’.

It’s where I will go when I want to get:-

At Rest, Mindfully.

At Rest, Mindfully.

In mind of my father,

I would like to say:                                                                      [Poem Follows:]

Dad Formal & Serious

Dad Formal & Serious

My father’s not going,

my father’s not gone:

He  was never much in -

though  nature gave

him that clefted chin,

those ice blue eyes;

that laziness in his swing

That swung in everything  –

Including the drumming

And the piano blasts

All singing All smoking

All singing, All smoking

And the music that jazzed

Wherever he was.

He is a swinger, a jazz man,

An artist of soul

Who mere mortals judged

And pilloried

When the shit hit the fan

inner pain, outer glimpse

inner pain, outer glimpse

And that’s music too,

A story of love,

And Tragedy-

Comedy,

His Labours of Love:

Jainey in a very zany pose - her dad was never photographed when off his nut lol

Jainey in a very zany pose – her dad was never photographed when off his nut lol

He loved too much, too deeply,

For the tall proud swan,

Though not enough,

as a cash-flow king,

For the one who took her place:

Cute little kestral

Cute little kestrel

Who was a cute little kestrel ,

Beady-eyed, who doubted

this Cash-Meister big-time.

So she curled up,

in disappointed fear,

Something to grip onto for dear life and death

Something to grip onto for dear life and death

Around the cash that was left -

And wouldn’t part with it.

Leaving him lonely.

And that was the nub of it.

the ultimate cause of the heartbreak.

His Acute yet prolonged Despair

His Acute yet prolonged Despair

The true love of his life was music:

Cameras, cash & women came

a close-run second to that.

But  his fatal addiction

was women..

Though his appetite for

Savile Row rags,

Handmade Italian shoes

and his Frank Sinatra hat,

showed a passion for finery

Be yourself:- a beautifully ridiculous genius.

Be yourself:- a beautifully ridiculous genius.

That needed cash

that wasn’t made quite right.

You could see it

In the way he smoked  his fags

-           It was his critical weakness point:

That cute, possessive little kestrel with her eyes on the look out for his wanting any cash.

That cute, possessive little kestrel with her eyes on the look out for his wanting any cash.

When that went, too

He lost the taste for living,

and found the air too stale to breathe.

So, while no-one

continued to listen,

Got trapped & killed at Depression Stage; NHS & Charity partly responsible according to Janie Greville.

Got trapped & killed at Depression Stage; NHS & Charity partly responsible according to Janie Greville.

He fucked off

to the bar

(in the sky).

You’ll find him there still:-

Dad's safest where he is just now...

The gate-way to heaven above, bouncers below keeping the masses out. Dad at the bar near the piano & drums, probably chatting with Doll.

In peace – at last!.

For Anthony Pierre Greville, Born 14th July, 1930 – Died 4th October 2012.

His  spirit was purified by Sept 28th at the latest; his spirit was released during a private family service about three weeks later.

His spirit was purified by Sept 28th at the very latest; his soul was released, during a private family service, about three weeks after his death.

This entry, like all published in this site to date,  is the intellectual property of MissionMiraculus Ltd., and in particular all the copyrights of its contents belong to ‘J.Knee Operations Ltd’ . Anyone else who is invited to write for this site will keep their copyrights intact with a contract with MissionMiraculus &/or ‘J.Knee Ops Inc’  in relation to it’s publisher rights.

This  piece December 7-8th, 2013

MissionMiraculus Ltd: An Update.

December 5, 2013

It’s been a growing time, a harvesting time, a storing and a planning time since June.

Yep - it's harvesting time ;-)

Yep: It’s harvest time!!

It’s been a balancing time; an evaluating time; a time of quiet achievement since the fruits were fallen and were gathered for storing.  Autumn – the richest, most vibrant season of the year – with all the fruit being gathered from the summer and all of the storing cold of the winter approaching in the air, in which is hiding the wake of call of spring next year… what a wondrous cycle of eternal joy as weather – how unutterably wonderful is the gift of human life  = we are  designed precisely for the purpose of sensing and enjoying these seasons and

harvesting amok lol

harvesting amok lol

The signals aren’t visible, mostly, although ‘MissionMiraculus Ltd.’ is now a registered company and we have gained the  invaluable input of an independent-minded business consultant, simply because he is a true friend and doesn’t either mince words or deliver bills for his advice that will embarrass the  funds available pre-launch. Indeed – he hasn’t delivered a bill at all. So we have made a mental note of our calculated profit from his guidance and mentoring and we’re figuring in a percentage of takings after expenses which we will put his way once we’re up and running.

Our finance director has no job to do of course, until the business starts being operative, whilst the general assistant and p.a. our adorable Glenn, continues to surf bus and plane sites and facebook chatlines while he waits for  instructions.

Our CEO is on the job of translating instructions into task lists and delivering on the templates for our market research;  job 1 for the visible company – still pre-economic viability, but focussed directly on the matter of becoming a uniquely tooled-up and skilled up force to be reckoned with vis a vis mental health crisis and recovery interventions and support.

The multiple hatter

The multiple hatter

Meanwhile, with  her other hats on, Janie is: wearing the tea-pot hat for  being sociable and hospitable to regular visitors; bowler hat on top for the scheduled house maintenance & development meetings in amongst; spends time on the phone wearing a hand crocheted beret or river island woolly hat;  the feminine black homberg-alike comes on for trips to the bank manager etc;  hatlessly writes and plans for at least 2 hours a day; nips to the University of Birmingham in whatever she likes,  & to Worcester (always black and grey and self restraining) for ‘survivor’ networking, teaching and offering consultancy input for services transformation and research.  95% of her work is voluntary, for which she gets her travelling expenses and, occasionally access to water, though often a cup of coffee and even a biscuit – oh yes, and utter anonymity as a sign of respect (?).

On the home improvements front, Janie has homed in on a scandinavian style log-cabin/office of generous proportions that she has space for at the top of her garden. She plans to  move all of her academic and business work to it and to work from there during office hours and return home afterwards and between times, to cook, socialise and paint. The log cabin is quite divine:-

Log-Cabin/Office, Scandinavian Style

Log-Cabin/Office, Scandinavian Style

It will appear as something of a ‘granny annexe’ and will include a chilling/sleeping room; a toilet/shower room; a storage room and a working area. It involves getting permissions from the council locally and possibly regionally to acquire access to the back of the property via the driveway and grounds of a public institution.  Due to MissionMiraculus’s social purposes, we forecast a deal to  be struck between the institution and its purposes and the purpose and focii of MMus Ltd: we will offer to provide learning recovery work for its clients in return for the said access.

Leaving a lot of gardening work to do in what will become quite uniquely designed and maintained grounds with genuinely wild spots alongside parts of ‘an english cottage garden‘.

Janie is feeling inspired about these domestic areas of her development. She is noticing a huge wave of empowerment from, frankly, the gift her father left her on his death bed last year.  She is probably singing ‘I’m a material girl’ right now lol (not – because she can’t remember any other words lol).  She has realised that mess and clutter have been mirroring her inner muddled, crisis driven state for years.

As a friend put it to her: ‘why did these mental health people come in and see you in that state without doing anything to help you?’. The answer was, of course, that that state was perfect for writing about in documents ‘validating’ ‘severe mental illness‘ diagnoses and descriptions: the job was not to remove the problem, it was to notice and share reports about it.  It is a pleasantly and deceptively delivered form of bureaucracy and private-eye journalism – so damned deceptive that I’ve never met a cpn, social worker or medic who has a clue that’s all they’re doing.

It was an effing rude invasion of my space. Thank god they’ve taken their damned files and buggared off. To some other poor sod probably, prescription pad in hand,  report book in the other….

Janie is planning to get the MissionMiraculus.com website properly constructed and designed and in the public domain by Christmas or thereabouts. It will offer you a link to a different website that will be accessible in full for £5.95 per month.  More of on a different day when it’s worth saying anything else – the two sites are allied and are structurally connected so that MissionMiraculus.com will appear fully formed before the subscriber only site is launched.  Watch this space ;-)

Pausing for Gratitude.

December 3, 2013

Emma Swan – what a divine name!!!! – was the girl who gifted me with the arts of gratitude in mind and heart.  I met her in 2009-10 as MissionMiraculus moved to pursue the ‘Road2Recovery Show’ back then, using a grant from the ‘service user’ branch of ‘Time-to-Change’ the illustriously bureaucratic and pretentious, Rethink dominated, Government & Lottery funded Mental Health ‘anti-stigma’ campaigning organ of the stigma delivering services such as psychiatric NHS care.

We are the authors of our own joy: and the inspirers of others'.

We are the authors of our own joy: and the inspirers of others’.

She was doing a research project on the  impact of gratitude back then and I offered to be a participant in the research. So I received my 2 weeks worth of forms (or was it a month?) with spaces to write down each day 5 things which I had noticed in that day for which I could feel appreciative and grateful.

I was a crap participant because I never gave her back the forms and I probably only filled in three at most.

But at a selfish level my life changed forever by this ‘workshop’. It embedded the arts of appreciative and grateful living in the deepest recesses of my mind – and though I slip at times and lose the plot, for the majority of my life I look outwards with a happy and optimistic eye and heart , and brush aside ‘negatives’ with a pretty careless air of wellbeing because my focus is no longer on what I DON’T  have, and what has disappointed me, and is so much more on what I do have and what delights me.

Click the following link for an amusing take on Bas Luhmann’s ‘Wear Sunshades’ song:-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_aMTayDpxw

I am so filled with gratitude today that ‘my cup runneth over’.

‘Thank you universe,’ I want to say, ‘your energies are forever and everywhere wiser and more loving and surprising than expressible or fathomable: the worst becomes the soil of the spectacular and the apparent best wears thin and becomes tarnished at the smallest breeze or shower.  My life makes sense at last, and my future is already here and so glorious that sunglasses may prove vital alongside the suncream – even in the literal snow!!!! :-)

Enter the Oriab Mountain Dreamer…

December 1, 2013

 

Be yourself:- a beautifully ridiculous genius.

Be yourself:- a beautifully ridiculous genius.

 

Sent to me by Anita, on 9th august 2009:

 

‘Wondered if you had read this rather aptly titled poem… It’s by Oriab Mountain Dreamer…..XXXX’
 
“Cultivating Courage in an Uncertain World,”

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
 

inner pain, outer glimpse

inner pain, outer glimpse

 

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

 

fun and joy unhampered by fear

fun and joy unhampered by fear

 

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

 

Stuck in the mud; trying to get clear again

Stuck in the mud trying to get up again

 

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

 

Peter Greville, Photographer, Drummer, Granpa

keeping up the grin for the kids

 

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

 

By whom was this poem written? I have never before or since heard of  ‘The Oriab Mountain Dreamer’: The text, however, resonated and resonates, powerfully, with me. I hope it resonates with you.  Tell us what you think and how it relates to your inner life experience and outlook.

 

“When You’re Falling, Dive: Using Your Pain to Transform Your Life”

November 28, 2013

 Is the title of a recent book. Today we offer you a review of the text by an Amazon customer. We believe this book offers a perspective that empowers us all when in personal crisis or difficulty, and that it provides ample evidence of the fundamental problems and dangers of conventional ‘mental health services’ within western medicine. It offers an ethos that is consistent with the beliefs and values of MissionMiraculus.

Image 

            Above: MissionMiraculus Road2Recovery Show at Cannon Hill Park in 2010 

“In his book, ‘When you’re falling Dive’, Mark Matousek explores the effects that trauma can have on the progression of our lives. He argues that `post-catastrophe living’ can often be more intense, more vibrant and more joyous than the lives of those who haven’t experienced great suffering.

In an interview with Dr Rachel Remen, she tells him “The process of wounding actually awakens us to our strength. It shuffles our values. And the top priority is never what you thought it would be. It’s never about perfection or power. It always turns out to be about love.”

Although, this may sound counter-intuitive, when we are suffering the loss of love, it is often true, that grief can open our eyes to the love that is still in our lives. It can strengthen the relationships we have with other family members or friends and may bring new relationships and new opportunities into our lives.

Experiencing trauma makes us realise that life can be fragile and brings the concept of impermanence to the forefront of our minds, but this can also help us to loosen our grip on the dissatisfaction of the material world and help us to contemplate the bigger questions. This change of perspective can help us to appreciate the relationships we have, and with more empathy, we are often able to treat others around us with greater love and compassion and less judgement, which, in turn, can lead to the possibility of enhanced relationships with others and more joy and love in our lives.
Mark tells us “…terror can be a door to enlightenment. While traditional cultures have long understood the empowering aspects of fear and wounding, the double-edged force of passage rites to galvanize and deepen the spirit, we are too often shielded from this secret knowledge” He believes that our contemporary view of pain and loss as handicaps to be avoided at any cost, is not only `wrong-headed’, but could also potentially be dangerous and counter-productive for the evolution of mankind. “…terror is fuel; wounding is power. Darkness carries the seeds of redemption. Authentic strength isn’t found in our armour but at the very pit of the wounds each of us manages to survive. As one widow put it to me, `strength doesn’t mean being able to stand up to anything, but being able to crawl on your belly a long, long time before you can stand up again.”

In living through his own trauma, he has come to believe that it is through our suffering that we are able to become better human beings… “Our brains are highly mutable, reinventing themselves on a regular basis, which is why not putting pain to it’s natural use – as grist for the evolution mill – is such an extraordinary waste of suffering. While hardship can certainly render us bitter, selfish, defensive, and miserable, it can also be used quite differently; as the artery of interconnection, a bridge to other people in pain, as blood in the muscle that propels us. Crisis takes us to the brink of our limits and forces us to keep moving forward. When people in extremis call it a blessing this is the paradox they are describing…Crises pushes you to travel wide, fast, and deep, expands the heart and calls forth reserves of courage you didn’t know you had, like adrenaline in the muscles of a mother saving her only child. Only you are the child, and it’s your life – the life of your own soul – that you are saving.”

Life invariably involves loss, and whilst going through the excruciating aftermath of bereavement or trauma it is hard to believe there might be a light at the end of the tunnel, but in interviewing many people who have experienced different kinds of traumatic events, Mark Matousek’s book is an optimistic portrayal of how these events can mould us into more, compassionate, kind and vibrantly alive people. So perhaps we can cling to the hope that there can be an upside to grief after all.”

Review by ‘Anna’ on Amazon Internet site, of ‘When you’re falling, Dive’ by Mark Matousek

Poetic Interlude : Adrenalin Junkie.

November 27, 2013

 There’s going to be a lot of space in this update because I’ve copied and pasted from Word and for some reason the format has stretched out. At some point I’ll train myself up re IT skills so I can reformat stuff – but for now, please bear with me. ;-)

Poet at Rest

Poet at Rest

 Adrenalin Junkie.

 Let no-one fool you:

 It’s not a roller coaster ride.

 

You’re in an aeroplane

and you’re feeling tense;

You have an immense sense

of what’s to befall you:

 

You concentrate intensely

on your every strand

of knowledge, training,

Imagination

 

And you feel good. So good.

The door is by your side.

All your need is this:

Slide it open.

 

And you do. The blast of air

that nearly pulls you out,

sucks you in against the walls

of your every hope, stuns you.

 

You can hardly gather breath.

But you have your eyes on the sky –

It’s vast, it’s blue, it’s white, it calls you –

And of course you go, fly,

 

leave your parachute behind.

 

Wow! The air is clear, cold,

everything you ever thought it could be.

You’re free and you’re falling

Through air.

 

English: Cliffs at Gaitnip In the late afterno...

English: Cliffs at Gaitnip In the late afternoon sun. Wideford Hill in the centre, above the line of the cliffs. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over mountains, over  housetops,

over  trees and the fields so green;

over sea, over cliffs.

And back. Over cliffs.

 

The land Is nearer now,

and you reach for your parachute

button much, much too late.

Too late to reverse your velocity,

 

too late for retrieving your life-

 

saving equipment, too late for second thoughts

And a considered plan of free-flying action

The rocks beneath and the lashing waves invite you:

With their black and white and blue they’re going to kill you.

 

1998/Janie G/ originally titled ‘manic depression’.

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